Monday, May 28, 2012

Gavin's Famous Cookies

Gavin and I thought we'd do a little tribute to cooking blogs today and post our famous cookie recipe.  Last week I had a tall order to fill: bake cookies for a family gathering and spend some much needed one-on-one mom and Gavin time together.   Who says you can't do both together?! So below you have a step by step recipe for Gavin's famous Rocky Road Cookie (with a little help from Rachael Ray)!   
The Ingredients
25 lbs of pure sugary cute kid with an apron
8 oz. butter or baking Crisco-y stuff (room temperature)
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
3 eggs
2 1/3 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 cup chopped almonds
2 cups chocolate chips
The Instructions
(My comments in italics)
Mix together butter and brown sugar
(Note: Holding a purple walrus is optional, but while it does not add anything to the flavor, texture or make up of the cookie, it does make the preparation process a tad bit more fun)

Apparently I got a little too bossy during this step.  I believe Gavin is putting me in my place.

Add eggs and blend.
We only had one blending snafu which was when Gavin turned the blender on while it was not in the propper blending position.  We only lost a little bit of the cookie batter- probably the equivalent of half a cookie.  Don't worry- we ate the other half to make it all even out. 

Combine flour, salt, baking soda and baking powder into sifter and add in. 

Gavin was a big fan of the sifting action. It looked like snow.

Add vanilla and blend.
Add almonds and chocolate chips. 

Gavin gladly dumped the entire bowl of almonds into the cookie batter; however he took special care to drop the chocolate chips in handful by handful.  Believe it or not, not a single one entered his mouth! He was very serious to maintain the integrity of our cookie making activity.  

Place rounded spoonfuls onto cookie sheet. 

Gavin felt compelled to also flatten each cookie with one of his spoons. I'm sure there is some very special reason why this is an important culinary step, but I'm not really sure what it is.

Cook at 350 for 10-12 minutes and enjoy! 

It's as easy as that!
Would you believe that as good as the cookies tasted (and I must say that they are REALLY good) we had an even better time making them!

Join us next time and we'll teach you how to make Gavin's delicious peanut butter, honey and banana sandwich.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Everything I need to know in life I learned from natural childbirth

Disclaimer: I never knew how opinionated people were until I started having children.  Everything in a mother's world is controversial.  Literally complete strangers will stop you in the middle of the grocery store to tell you something you should or should not be doing.  Everything from breastfeeding to bows on babies' heads is up for discussion- whether you asked the question or not.  And that's all after the baby has actually gotten here- there is quite the controversy and debate even on how a child will come into the world.  Obviously from the title of this post, I am an advocate of natural child birth; however I know that the last thing we need in this world is one more person telling people how they SHOULD do something or that they are bad for choosing something else.  Rather, I'd like to offer this as a "refer to a friend".  Much like someone who has experienced something amazing that changed their life- they can't keep quiet about it.  Think about this- if you went on a great vacation, would you not refer the location or hotel? If you read an amazing book, would you not tell a friend about it?  If you had a lifechanging experience, would you not want others to know about it?  Mothers who opt for natural childbirth do not love their babies any more than mothers who get epidurals or have C-sections.  While medically I believe there is evidence to show that there are health benefits to decreasing medication and  interventions, I believe that epidurals and pitocin and C-sections and the like serve a very important purpose...but in many cases there is another option. 
Natural child birth changed my life.  Strong statement, I know....but it has.  Not just the end result that was produced by the birth, but the actual process.  Before I had my son, I thought that women who opted for natural childbirth had an element of "feminine machismo" that needed to be released- that they just needed to show how "tough" they were.  I don't know about you, but there are far better ways in life that I can show what I'm made of then by enduring hours and hours of pain when I know there is an alternative at the push of a nurse's call button.  But then I got pregnant and when the baby was just the size of a peanut, I realized that this new and exciting life that was forming inside of me had to at some point come OUT.  While that might seem pretty obvious...and something I should have considered before actually becoming pregnant...it was a very surreal revelation.  I started thinking about what I wanted that process to look like.  As much as I was scared of contractions, I was equally as scared of needles, which I believe is the standard form of epidural delivery.  My husband and I began to look into alternatives just to see what was out there.  We started looking into the Bradley Method and the process of Husband Coached Child birth.  We have now had two beautiful childbirths via this method (see Harper's Birth Story..if you want to) and walked away with not only two beautiful children, but with skills that- if properly applied- could change the way we approach everything in life.  Below are the 7 things in life that I learned through natural child birth

Viewing pain as progress:  Pain is the most common word that comes up when it comes to natural childbirth.  It's going to hurt too much, right?  One of the principles that the Bradley method teaches is that pain is progress.  Actually that it's not really pain, but progress being made towards the end goal- which is the baby being born.  Every contraction is the uterus contracting to bring the baby lower and closer to delivery.  It's not pain like a migraine, that is constant and not really serving a purpose- the pain is an ends to get to a means.  If I could only adopt this realization in life, that hard things that we go through aren't just to make life crappy or be painful for the sake of being painful..but if properly applied, it's actually making progress- pushing me towards being a better person or learning something that I haven't yet learned or mastered.

There is no "I" in Natural Childbirth: Okay, well there actually are two i's- if you're spelling it; however if you're performing it, there are no I's.  When I talk about how my children were born, I catch myself saying "when WE were in labor" because it really was a team effort.  My husband was equally involved- granted the child was not birthed from his body, but he was a critical part of the process in helping me do the things that I needed to do (relax) to help the baby come out.  Anecdotally in fact, my husband got an infection in his leg after the birth of our first child from staying in one position, rubbing my back for over 12 hours.  More than that, he was a bigger source of encouragement and fixture of confidence in me that I needed to get the job done.  I have often said, there was no greater picture of marriage than our child birth process- one person going through something so dramatic, but the other person so involved and right there with them, that there is hardly a distinction between the two.  And what a way to kick off the adventure of parenthood?  As a team.

Informed Consent: I tend to think that in general most people are pretty ignorant of their own medical process.  Me included.  Whether we're talking about pregnancy, child birth or any other medical condition, we just trust the doctor to tell us what to do, what not to do.  I loved the Bradley Method because it focuses a lot on informed consent- knowing about the decisions that you're making, the drugs that you're taking, the intervention that you're participating. 

Some things in life are supposed to be hard: Our society has taught women that they CAN'T have a baby without drugs, doctors, interventions.  While these things are certainly essential and helpful to many birthing scenarios, they are not the "end all, be all" of having a baby.  I find it sad that women will just tell you "it can't be done" as far as having a natural child birth.  One of the most empowering things that made me want to have a baby naturally was a women stopped me- in the grocery store, of course- with her teenage daughter standing next to her.  She told me how I should sign up for the epidural as soon as I could that you "just can't take the pain." Her daughter stood by listening and laughing at her mom's story of how bad her births hurt.  I walked away thinking that it was so sad that the women had not only painted a grim picture for me, but also her daughter who at some point in life would probably have a baby and go into it already defeated.  I'm not one of those "you can do anything you can put your mind to" people- there are a GREAT many things in life that I can't do...even if I really try.  HOWEVER, some things in life are just supposed to be hard...and it's okay...and it feels pretty sweet when you get to the end that you actually did something that an entire society has told you that you couldn't do.

Don't let emotion get the best of you:  If only I could master this in my every day life!!!  How many things in life do I made harder by my own actions?  Ugh!  During my labor with Gavin, I remember very vividly staring at that mascara blob on my pillow for an extended amount of time- a mascara blob that was only there because I had crying- while I was in labor thinking things like "I never want to have another child," "kids are so not worth this," " I cannot do this", "this is the most miserable I've ever been in my life..." The great thing about it though is that those things were all just between me and my mascara blob- I never said any of those things out loud.  How many things in life would I make easier by not spewing out everything thought that comes into my head?  How many things in life would be easier if I just took it for what it was, and knowing that my own emotions are probably 7/10ths of the difficulty.  Added bonus- once the baby was born, everyone told me how brave I was and how awesome I'd done.  They didn't know I was a complete basket case- but only in my head.

Don't worry too much about the future: A very wise friend told me before Gavin was born "Don't catch yourself thinking if it hurts now, I can only imagine what it will hurt like in a couple of hours."  Those were some of the wisest words anyone ever told me.  Just deal with what you're dealing with right this second and get through that.  Don't think about what things will be like if the situation gets  deeper or harder or some other kind of "er" word that takes it to a more extreme level. 

Full reliance on the One who created the process: When a lot of people think of natural childbirth, they tend to focus on the epidural, but as I found throughout the process, it's less about getting or not getting an epidual and more about the overall commitment to having as few medical interventions as possible. I love being pregnant because I was able to completely live day to day a process that I know God designed perfectly and is the Author of.  God has designed a miraculous process that works independent of pitocin to speed up the process, an epidural to alleviate the pain- in fact there are times when those things actually make the situaton worse!  An example of this is that Harper was 9 days late.  In this day and age, many women don't even make it to their due date because dr's like to induce so many times.  Many times this is necessary, but other times there is nothing lost by just waiting things out- in fact there are things to be gained.  When we were telling our pediatrician that Harper ate so well, he actually chalked some of that up to the fact that she was a little "older" when she was born!  I love the idea that I was able to fully experience what my body was made to do. 

So there you have it.  Everything in life you will ever need to know.  And while I'm sure that this doesn't leave every reader with the burning desire to have a baby sans le drugs, I hope that it will at least introduce that there is another option out there...that is proven to not only produce a healthy baby, but will teach you a couple of things along the way.

Monday, May 21, 2012

0 Months- April

One of the traditions that we set for Gavin's first year was to take a picture of him every month to document his growth. Even now, it's so fun to look back at each of those pictures and see how much he grew month to month. I think any mother can agree that it goes by way too fast- if you blink, you'll miss something, so this is part of the way that we capture the fleeting moments that we have of our little kiddos' first year.
Here is our lovely little Harpie girl's 0 month picture!  Can you even believe the cuteness?!
In these first few weeks, most of the adjustments in life have come on our part.  Harper is pretty well adjusted to eatting, sleeping and pooping like a Rock Star! We, on the other hand, are getting used to life with two kiddos or a sister, respectively, working out schedules, learning just how close Gavin's allowed to get to her and other important things such as whether her nickname should be Harpie, Harpo, Harpsichord, Baby Cakes, Sister, Sugar Face or Baby Girl.  So far Harpie, Baby Cakes and Harpsichord are the most popular.
We have loved life with our little girl in these first few days and weeks.  
I can't believe there's only 12 more posts like this to go before she turns 1! 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Harper's Birth Day

This post is just for me. It's long and personal and filled with a lot of details that most people probably won't care about, but it's the story of a very special day in my life that I hope that I always remember with the same excitement and emotion as the day that it happened.  Since this blog is my online scrapbook and I have chosen to document Cox Family memories, this is where it goes.  A birth story is such a special thing and something I could relive over and over- the story of how both my children got here; however I realize the audience that cares to hear birth stories over and over again is few and far between...and I dare not be a mother that chooses to retell it to my kids over and over again as if they owe me some kind of award for having the privilege of birthing them.  While there might be some special things about the day that I'll want to share with them over the years, I want those memories to be used sparingly and not as my badge.  So I'll tell my story here.

Chapter 1 The Day Before
Harper's birth story starts the day before her actual birth day.  You might recall that Miss Harper was running a little late for her due date and while I believe that pregnancy is a gift such that I would never want to wish any part of it away, I was definitely ready to see my little girl.  On day 8 of lateness, I decided it was high time to do something about it.  On Monday, April 23rd I called in all the old wive's tales that I could think of .  Maternity massage?  Check.  Walking with a friend?  Check.  Extra Sri Rancha sauce with dinner?  Check.  As the day came to a close, I didn't feel any different than I had when I woke up in the morning.  Getting ready for our Dr's appointment the next day, Matthew and I began to talk about the option of inducing, which we knew would be an item of discussion.  Any one that knows me knows that I am pretty passionate about natural child birth.  Matthew and I loved having that experience with Gavin and might even say it was a life changing type of experience.  We definitely hoped to have a natural delivery with our second baby.  More on that later.  BUT due to that desire, I really did not like the idea of being induced; however we wanted to make sure that whatever decision we made was in the best interest of having a healthy baby- not just the interest of having a good "birth story."  At the end of the conversation, neither of us had come up with a scenario that we had a peace about...so we settled into watching a movie for the evening- A Few Good Men.
Somewhere between the murder of William Santiago and Tom Cruise not being able to handle the truth, I started to feel a couple of things that felt strangely familiar.  Nothing dramatic, but enough to tell us what we needed to get a good night's sleep.  So with 45 minutes left of our movie, we turned it off and went to bed, hoping that April 24th would be D-day.

Chapter 2- And we're off!
2:17 am- I woke with contractions.  Pretty light and not very regular, but enough to make me hope pretty hard that it would turn into something else.  I laid awake in bed for about 45 minutes, timing my contractions on my super awesome contract app.  The main concern on my mind: lotion in my hair.  Everyone knows at any good massage (which my maternity massage was certainly NOT, but we don't have time for that) involves lots of lotion in ones hair.  I kept thinking that if today was the day, I didn't want to go through an entire day with lotiony hair.  I finally decided to get up and take a shower- I wasn't getting any sleep sitting there worrying about it anyway.

5:15-  My hair safely washed and dried and the contractions still regular but manageable, Matthew and I started come up with a game plan- when to call family, what to do with Gavin, etc.  A little side note of importance was that I was in labor with Gavin for 19 1/2 hours.  While I heard over and over again throughout my second pregnancy that "second babies come faster" even cutting the time by a third left me with about a 12 hour labor.  Also, one of the staples of natural child birth is laboring at home as long as you can.  Matthew and I had both tried to get in a mindset that we'd stay at home much longer this time.  We had everything ready- a bag packed with everything we'd need for 12 hours of labor- tennis balls for Matthew to rub my back, a birthing ball for me to sit or rest on, Hillsong CD's for us to listen to...  We were definitely ready.

6:00- Knowing that a birth day is a big picture day, I decided that I needed to fix my hair.  I didn't want the baby coming out and thinking she had tacky mama!!  I started rolling my hair in between contractions. I tend to visualize a contractions as a roller coaster- they start out slowly and build to a peak, then they kind of fade away.  During each contraction, there was an emotional roller coaster going on as well.  As each contraction would start out, I'd think "get ready, relax, you can handle it..." but as it would reach it's peak I'd think "I totally can't do this- I don't want to have one more contraction- as SOON as we get to the hospital, I'm getting an epirdual- I don't want to do this" and as the contraction would fade out I'd think of the verse Phillipians 4:8- "what ever is lovely, pure, true, honorable...etc. think on these things" and try to remember that if I think of what is true- which is the fact that I CAN do this, then I might be able to last a little bit longer.  My mind would stay there until the next contraction. 
But that was just what I was doing.  Matthew had his own little roller coaster going on.  As every contractions peaked, I'd yell at him (sometimes politely) to get over to me to rub my back and as it faded out, he'd get to work doing something else critical to us leaving- packing something in the car, or checking something off the incessant list that I'd created when I was only a day or two over due.  I hope that he carbed up the night before, because I definitely had that boy running!! 
For the next hour, the contractions got stronger.  They were pretty close together- 3-4 minutes- but a shorter than I thought they should be.  We planned to get Gavin up at his normal time, get him dressed and take him to a baby sitters.  I started to get nervous about traffic since it was a Tuesday around "rush hour" and since I was in a lot of pain..and just a tad noisier than usual, I started to think that it might not be a good idea for us to take Gavin to the sitters.  We called my mom who was already on her way to our house and asked her if she'd take Gavin...it ended up being one of the smartest decisions we've ever made! 

Chapter 3- Life is a Highway
9:05- we started to head to the hospital.  I should have noticed a start difference between our trip to the hospital with Gavin and this time.  With Gavin I was texting friends in between contractions to tell them we were on our way, was watching the road and overall pretty in tune with what was going on.  Not so much this time.  First of all, it took me about three contractions to get into the car- I did NOT want to sit down.  Finally- after three contractions in the driveway and all of the neighbors being able to hear that I was in labor, I got in the car- right after I told Matthew that he should probably grab a trash bag or something for me to sit on.  He grabbed an old beach towel and we were on our way- one of the next smartest decisions we've ever made!  I got in the car, closed my eyes and was in the "zone" for the trip.

9:19- as we past the 31st and Yale exit I felt a little pop and a "warmth" that although I've never felt it before, I knew exactly what it was.  My water broke.  In the car.  On the beach towel.  My dad should be so proud of me (Mr. Always-be-prepared who made my mom sit on a trashbag in the car the last 2 weeks of each of her pregnancies).  My first thought  when it broke was "this better mean I'm dilated past a 4."  I guess of all the moments I'll share with my daughter, this will probably be one of them- as we drive past 31st and Yale on the Broken Arrow Expressway, I'll always have that fond memory of that moment.

9:25- We arrived at St. John's.  My apologies to the cute lady in the car next to us when we parked.  I'm sure you just wanted to get out of your car, rather than having the large, sweaty pregnant lady get out of the car first and have a contraction while standing within arms length of you.  Good thing you had your window rolled up. 
As Matthew and I walked into the hospital- me in all of my pregnant and water-just-broke glory- I saw about four different people scatter all saying "I'll go get you a wheelchair."  I'm pretty sure two of them didn't even work at St. Johns.  Not only were my pants wet, but I was walking like Mr. McGoo going about 1/2 a mile per hour.  We entered the hospital on the 6th floor right into the Women's Health Floor, which during the 9 o'clock hour on a Tuesday was hopping with tons of people.  Just the time when you want to walk into a place with your pants wet in the most pain you've ever been in!  I started to walk past the front desk the the lady said "Oh no, honey- you wait for a wheel chair."  Just then a contraction started and I turned around to lean on Matthew.  As the contraction ended I saw a friend from church.  I will never forget the look on her face and her saying with as much sympathy and compassion in her heart "Oh, Jordan..."  She came over and put her hands on both Matthew and I and said a short prayer just as the wheel chair was coming to whisk us away. 
I still thought that I was had a little ways to go and as I sat in the wheel chair, I was praying that I was at least a 7 and would only be in labor until around noon.  I guess the nursing staff felt that I was a little more "urgent" than a 7 because the nurse who came to pick me up took off running down the hallway- just like in a movie.  As we rounded the corner Matthew shouted behind us that "a woman with a black shirt and jeans" (my mom) would be coming in shortly and to send her back to our room.  I will never forget seeing the labor and delivery doors swing open for us to go through just as I felt the "urge to push".  I still wasn't convinced that I was any where closer than at least a couple of hours away from delivery.  My 4-wheeled chariot made it to a delivery room and Matthew was updating everyone with my status- been having contractions since 2:15 am, 2-3 minutes apart, lasting about 45 seconds to a minute, water broke at 9:19, we'd like to finish out the process naturally...  I got off the wheel chair and feel onto the bed on "all fours".  A nurse checked me and I'll never forget hearing "Sweetheart, you need to lay on the bed otherwise you're going to have this baby on the floor- it's time to push!"  Hallelujah!  My dream scenario had happened!  I pushed for about 25 minutes- about 10 minutes in, my mom came running in.  She grabbed the camera and started snapping away. 

9:54- With Matthew by my side, Harper Addison Cox took her very first breath in this world.  She came out and they placed her on my chest and Matthew and I got to lay eyes on our little girl for the very first time.  She was here, she was a girl and she was absolutely perfect! 
Every contraction was worth it. Every bit of anticipation since the second I saw two blue lines on a pregnancy test almost 10 months previously culminated to this moment when we welcomed our little girl into the world. Needless to say one of the most meaningful moments of my life.
After all of our careful planning, preparation and everything, God had arranged a completely different story than what we could have imagined.  There was no time for tennis balls or birthing balls.  Our CD's laid in a hospital bag that still sat in the car and all that mattered in the world was that we were holding our daughter.
I find it important to mention that my children are exactly- almost to the minute- 18 months apart.  Harper was born April 24 at 9:54 am and Gavin was born 18 months previously on October 24th at 9:46.  My kids will always share a half birthday- which is very significant where I come from.
So that's the story of how Harper Addison came into this world.  There will be many, many more stories about Harper Addison to come.  This is just Day 1 and the day that she began to tell her own story.  But for a mama, it's a completely and wonderfully significant day and a beautiful story that we share together.  She might not know just how significant until the day that she welcomes her own little baby into the world.
I am grateful to God for a healthy baby girl; our own little miracle and a life that God has entrusted us with raising.  It is a beautiful privilege to get to carry a child for 9 months, to be a home while God is weaving him or her together and not only creating a person, but a life, a personality, a soul and a heart.  I can't believe that God has allowed me, now twice in my life, to experience that and with my best friend by my side, welcome that little life into the world. 

Monday, May 7, 2012

A few family firsts

This week has been filled with many firsts in the Cox family.  Adding a new family member is definitely monumental, but we've tried to capture it in our mediocre picture taking style.  Below are a few firsts for the Cox family:
Harper’s First bow
Our first picture as a family of FOUR!

Mommy and Harper's first matching outfits

Harper’s first trip with Mommy and Daddy

Harper’s First picture at home

Gavin and Harper’s First brother/sister moments



Matthew's first haircut
Can any one say Super Dad?  Matthew went out and bought clippers and decided to give Gavin his first DIY hair cut.  He took his first pass at it on Wednesday...
 
and then took another pass at it on Thursday. 
The finished product was excellent and clearly even Gavin agreed. 

Gavin and Harper’s First matching outfits
Granted the age threshold where brother/sister outfits are cute and age appropriate isn't too long in ones' life, so I don't think you'll see a pic like this every year on the Christmas card much past 2015 or so, it's definitely cute while you can do it...and cute with these two kiddos.

Harper’s First bath at home

Harper’s First trip to the park


Our first couple of weeks at home have been filled with lots of fun and adjustment and flexibility- not the least of which is getting used to using all of the female pronouns when it comes to talking about 50% of our children.  I am so proud of my husband who knows what it is to be a HELPmate...and I am also proud of Gavin who has been full of big kisses for little sister.  It's fun to see his face light up when he walks into a room and sees "sister".  He'll point and say "baby!".  He's had a few "Lenny" moments where we've had to ask him to be more gentle...but I am (almost completely) positive that it's done out of love!
I'm excited to find out what our new normal is and carry on living life as a family of FOUR! 
So thankful to God for these three most rich blessings in my life.