Harper's Birth Day

This post is just for me. It's long and personal and filled with a lot of details that most people probably won't care about, but it's the story of a very special day in my life that I hope that I always remember with the same excitement and emotion as the day that it happened.  Since this blog is my online scrapbook and I have chosen to document Cox Family memories, this is where it goes.  A birth story is such a special thing and something I could relive over and over- the story of how both my children got here; however I realize the audience that cares to hear birth stories over and over again is few and far between...and I dare not be a mother that chooses to retell it to my kids over and over again as if they owe me some kind of award for having the privilege of birthing them.  While there might be some special things about the day that I'll want to share with them over the years, I want those memories to be used sparingly and not as my badge.  So I'll tell my story here.

Chapter 1 The Day Before

Harper's birth story starts the day before her actual birth day.  You might recall that Miss Harper was running a little late for her due date and while I believe that pregnancy is a gift such that I would never want to wish any part of it away, I was definitely ready to see my little girl.  On day 8 of lateness, I decided it was high time to do something about it.  On Monday, April 23rd I called in all the old wive's tales that I could think of .  Maternity massage?  Check.  Walking with a friend?  Check.  Extra Sri Rancha sauce with dinner?  Check.  As the day came to a close, I didn't feel any different than I had when I woke up in the morning.  Getting ready for our Dr's appointment the next day, Matthew and I began to talk about the option of inducing, which we knew would be an item of discussion.  Any one that knows me knows that I am pretty passionate about natural child birth.  Matthew and I loved having that experience with Gavin and might even say it was a life changing type of experience.  We definitely hoped to have a natural delivery with our second baby.  More on that later.  BUT due to that desire, I really did not like the idea of being induced; however we wanted to make sure that whatever decision we made was in the best interest of having a healthy baby- not just the interest of having a good "birth story."  At the end of the conversation, neither of us had come up with a scenario that we had a peace about...so we settled into watching a movie for the evening- A Few Good Men.

Somewhere between the murder of William Santiago and Tom Cruise not being able to handle the truth, I started to feel a couple of things that felt strangely familiar.  Nothing dramatic, but enough to tell us what we needed to get a good night's sleep.  So with 45 minutes left of our movie, we turned it off and went to bed, hoping that April 24th would be D-day.

Chapter 2- And we're off!

2:17 am- I woke with contractions.  Pretty light and not very regular, but enough to make me hope pretty hard that it would turn into something else.  I laid awake in bed for about 45 minutes, timing my contractions on my super awesome contract app.  The main concern on my mind: lotion in my hair.  Everyone knows at any good massage (which my maternity massage was certainly NOT, but we don't have time for that) involves lots of lotion in ones hair.  I kept thinking that if today was the day, I didn't want to go through an entire day with lotiony hair.  I finally decided to get up and take a shower- I wasn't getting any sleep sitting there worrying about it anyway.

5:15-  My hair safely washed and dried and the contractions still regular but manageable, Matthew and I started come up with a game plan- when to call family, what to do with Gavin, etc.  A little side note of importance was that I was in labor with Gavin for 19 1/2 hours.  While I heard over and over again throughout my second pregnancy that "second babies come faster" even cutting the time by a third left me with about a 12 hour labor.  Also, one of the staples of natural child birth is laboring at home as long as you can.  Matthew and I had both tried to get in a mindset that we'd stay at home much longer this time.  We had everything ready- a bag packed with everything we'd need for 12 hours of labor- tennis balls for Matthew to rub my back, a birthing ball for me to sit or rest on, Hillsong CD's for us to listen to...  We were definitely ready.

6:00- Knowing that a birth day is a big picture day, I decided that I needed to fix my hair.  I didn't want the baby coming out and thinking she had tacky mama!!  I started rolling my hair in between contractions. I tend to visualize a contractions as a roller coaster- they start out slowly and build to a peak, then they kind of fade away.  During each contraction, there was an emotional roller coaster going on as well.  As each contraction would start out, I'd think "get ready, relax, you can handle it..." but as it would reach it's peak I'd think "I totally can't do this- I don't want to have one more contraction- as SOON as we get to the hospital, I'm getting an epirdual- I don't want to do this" and as the contraction would fade out I'd think of the verse Phillipians 4:8- "what ever is lovely, pure, true, honorable...etc. think on these things" and try to remember that if I think of what is true- which is the fact that I CAN do this, then I might be able to last a little bit longer.  My mind would stay there until the next contraction. 

But that was just what I was doing.  Matthew had his own little roller coaster going on.  As every contractions peaked, I'd yell at him (sometimes politely) to get over to me to rub my back and as it faded out, he'd get to work doing something else critical to us leaving- packing something in the car, or checking something off the incessant list that I'd created when I was only a day or two over due.  I hope that he carbed up the night before, because I definitely had that boy running!! 

For the next hour, the contractions got stronger.  They were pretty close together- 3-4 minutes- but a shorter than I thought they should be.  We planned to get Gavin up at his normal time, get him dressed and take him to a baby sitters.  I started to get nervous about traffic since it was a Tuesday around "rush hour" and since I was in a lot of pain..and just a tad noisier than usual, I started to think that it might not be a good idea for us to take Gavin to the sitters.  We called my mom who was already on her way to our house and asked her if she'd take Gavin...it ended up being one of the smartest decisions we've ever made! 

Chapter 3- Life is a Highway

9:05- we started to head to the hospital.  I should have noticed a start difference between our trip to the hospital with Gavin and this time.  With Gavin I was texting friends in between contractions to tell them we were on our way, was watching the road and overall pretty in tune with what was going on.  Not so much this time.  First of all, it took me about three contractions to get into the car- I did NOT want to sit down.  Finally- after three contractions in the driveway and all of the neighbors being able to hear that I was in labor, I got in the car- right after I told Matthew that he should probably grab a trash bag or something for me to sit on.  He grabbed an old beach towel and we were on our way- one of the next smartest decisions we've ever made!  I got in the car, closed my eyes and was in the "zone" for the trip.

9:19- as we past the 31st and Yale exit I felt a little pop and a "warmth" that although I've never felt it before, I knew exactly what it was.  My water broke.  In the car.  On the beach towel.  My dad should be so proud of me (Mr. Always-be-prepared who made my mom sit on a trashbag in the car the last 2 weeks of each of her pregnancies).  My first thought  when it broke was "this better mean I'm dilated past a 4."  I guess of all the moments I'll share with my daughter, this will probably be one of them- as we drive past 31st and Yale on the Broken Arrow Expressway, I'll always have that fond memory of that moment.

9:25- We arrived at St. John's.  My apologies to the cute lady in the car next to us when we parked.  I'm sure you just wanted to get out of your car, rather than having the large, sweaty pregnant lady get out of the car first and have a contraction while standing within arms length of you.  Good thing you had your window rolled up. 

As Matthew and I walked into the hospital- me in all of my pregnant and water-just-broke glory- I saw about four different people scatter all saying "I'll go get you a wheelchair."  I'm pretty sure two of them didn't even work at St. Johns.  Not only were my pants wet, but I was walking like Mr. McGoo going about 1/2 a mile per hour.  We entered the hospital on the 6th floor right into the Women's Health Floor, which during the 9 o'clock hour on a Tuesday was hopping with tons of people.  Just the time when you want to walk into a place with your pants wet in the most pain you've ever been in!  I started to walk past the front desk the the lady said "Oh no, honey- you wait for a wheel chair."  Just then a contraction started and I turned around to lean on Matthew.  As the contraction ended I saw a friend from church.  I will never forget the look on her face and her saying with as much sympathy and compassion in her heart "Oh, Jordan..."  She came over and put her hands on both Matthew and I and said a short prayer just as the wheel chair was coming to whisk us away. 

I still thought that I was had a little ways to go and as I sat in the wheel chair, I was praying that I was at least a 7 and would only be in labor until around noon.  I guess the nursing staff felt that I was a little more "urgent" than a 7 because the nurse who came to pick me up took off running down the hallway- just like in a movie.  As we rounded the corner Matthew shouted behind us that "a woman with a black shirt and jeans" (my mom) would be coming in shortly and to send her back to our room.  I will never forget seeing the labor and delivery doors swing open for us to go through just as I felt the "urge to push".  I still wasn't convinced that I was any where closer than at least a couple of hours away from delivery.  My 4-wheeled chariot made it to a delivery room and Matthew was updating everyone with my status- been having contractions since 2:15 am, 2-3 minutes apart, lasting about 45 seconds to a minute, water broke at 9:19, we'd like to finish out the process naturally...  I got off the wheel chair and feel onto the bed on "all fours".  A nurse checked me and I'll never forget hearing "Sweetheart, you need to lay on the bed otherwise you're going to have this baby on the floor- it's time to push!"  Hallelujah!  My dream scenario had happened!  I pushed for about 25 minutes- about 10 minutes in, my mom came running in.  She grabbed the camera and started snapping away. 

9:54- With Matthew by my side, Harper Addison Cox took her very first breath in this world.  She came out and they placed her on my chest and Matthew and I got to lay eyes on our little girl for the very first time.  She was here, she was a girl and she was absolutely perfect! 

Every contraction was worth it. Every bit of anticipation since the second I saw two blue lines on a pregnancy test almost 10 months previously culminated to this moment when we welcomed our little girl into the world. Needless to say one of the most meaningful moments of my life.

After all of our careful planning, preparation and everything, God had arranged a completely different story than what we could have imagined.  There was no time for tennis balls or birthing balls.  Our CD's laid in a hospital bag that still sat in the car and all that mattered in the world was that we were holding our daughter.

I find it important to mention that my children are exactly- almost to the minute- 18 months apart.  Harper was born April 24 at 9:54 am and Gavin was born 18 months previously on October 24th at 9:46.  My kids will always share a half birthday- which is very significant where I come from.

So that's the story of how Harper Addison came into this world.  There will be many, many more stories about Harper Addison to come.  This is just Day 1 and the day that she began to tell her own story.  But for a mama, it's a completely and wonderfully significant day and a beautiful story that we share together.  She might not know just how significant until the day that she welcomes her own little baby into the world.

I am grateful to God for a healthy baby girl; our own little miracle and a life that God has entrusted us with raising.  It is a beautiful privilege to get to carry a child for 9 months, to be a home while God is weaving him or her together and not only creating a person, but a life, a personality, a soul and a heart.  I can't believe that God has allowed me, now twice in my life, to experience that and with my best friend by my side, welcome that little life into the world.