Thursday, December 24, 2015

Merry Christmas, from the Coxes

Every year we take family pictures to celebrate the year and to send friends and family Christmas cheer, as does 92.5% of the civilized world.  For sure, this year was doubly special and not only because it marked our first year as a family of five, but also because it commemorates the end of one of the craziest and unthinkably challenging years of all of our lives.  We feel grateful to be here, with all five members of our family. The gift of simply being together is nothing to be taken lightly.  


We come to the end of 2015 with immense gratitude for so many people who helped get us to this place- physically, emotionally, financially...all the things.  We are grateful for people who literally helped us take our next breath and who held our lives in their hands.  We are grateful for family who sacrificed more than we could have ever asked of them to be with us and beside us to keep our family together.  We are grateful for people who felt moved by our story and touched by our daughter's life, so much that they would help us financially, make us a blanket, send us a gift, remember us in their prayers.  Your kindness has touched our hearts and made a difference.


I doubt that 2015 could ever be topped (Dear Lord, that was simply a statement, not a challenge.) Some days I feel like a college athlete who glories in his days on the field, knowing that is the bravest, most strong and most heroic that I'll likely ever need to be or get to be.  We were given opportunities that we'll never have again and given surreal circumstances that most people will never face.  


As this most epic of all years comes to an end, I am reminded of a day when 2015 had only barely begun.  We'd heard a diagnosis, seemingly a life sentence, and our hearts were broken in a way that felt so heavy it was sometimes hard to breathe.  The future was unknown.  The day before we left to tour the United States looking for answers for our baby girl, I made a purchase.  Two black and gold skirts on clearance; one to fit my oldest daughter and one in tiny size to someday fit the baby who then lived in my tummy.  As the cashier rang up my purchases, she remarked on how cute the skirts were.  She didn't know that I was wounded, a little bit crushed, and that even the act of forming a response felt like a hardship.  I replied back to her, "Aren't they cute?  I'm getting them for my daughters."  

My daughters.  


I heard myself say it.  

It was the first time I'd said it, I think.  In all of the sadness of finding out that our baby in utero had spina bifida, I hadn't been able to take in the fact that our family was going to get to have two daughters.  I would have two little girls to dress up.  To match.  To tie pigtails for.  To wear matching bows and tutus.  To play make up with.  To share life with.  To be a family with.  It was a small piece of joy returning.  A tiny fleck of hope. 


Our lives turned completely bizarro even beyond that point when the opportunity for a rare and risky surgery meant living in another state, away from my family, for 3 months.  But in my head, I remembered that there was a Target bag 612 miles away, in the corner of my bedroom closet, that held two black and gold skirts that one day my two daughters would get to wear and we'd get to do something terribly normal and family-ish and together, like one day take family pictures for a Christmas card.  


So these pictures feel like a victory.  A hope fulfilled.

God has been faithful to our family this year.  We are grateful for His sovereignty, for His provision and protection.  We are grateful for your hands and hearts that have served us.  We are grateful for our little girl, our daughter, born with stitches, a story, and a smile that has made our family complete.  We are grateful for purple braces and hip abductors and two loving siblings that have embraced everything that was thrown at them with grace and innocence and patience.  We are not disappointed. 

Merry Christmas from the Coxes.  

(Special thanks to Ericka Huff Photography for the gorgeous family photos!!!)

2 comments:

  1. Wonderful story and testimony. I have enjoyed following your family through this amazing journey. You are blessed beyond measure!! Love and prayers, Brenda Beasley

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